We're the therapists pumping through your speakers
Delivering just what you need.
Oh Mr. Wentz, you have no idea how much those two lines have been playing in my head today. How much they fitted my mood. How much they were totally true.

The first thing I did was grab my I-pod. Panic has been the only thing that stopped me from crying all day. That beautiful voice calmed me down a lot. It may sound like an unhealthy obsession, but for now I'm just clinging onto them.

I'm trying not to think of Thursday. Hell, I'm just trying not to think of anything right now. It's fucked up and stupid and unexpected. I guess it couldn't have gone any better for her, but that doesn't make it any easier for me. And it hurts. It hurts so much. And I miss her.

Adorkable! This video put a huge smile on my face. Facial expressions and algorithms, you got to love them.
Great minds think alike I guess.. I started playing again with my cube a couple of weeks ago. I like to think I’m fairly good at it. But I also think Mr. Beckett would beat me in this (and so many other things, but that’s not the point), even though it would probably be a close finish.



On another note, today was Poems Day in Belgium and the Netherlands. I heard a lot of nice, funny and cute poems today, but there’s that one poem that I love more than any other. I fell in love with Hans Andreus’ Voor Een Dag Van Morgen when I was about 16 I think.
So in honor of Poems Day:

Wanneer ik morgen doodga, vertel dan aan de bomen hoeveel ik van je hield. Vertel het aan de wind die in de bomen klimt of uit de takken valt, hoeveel ik van je hield. Vertel het aan een kind dat jong genoeg is om het te begrijpen. Vertel het aan een dier, misschien alleen door het aan te kijken. Vertel het aan de huizen van steen, vertel het aan de stad, hoe lief ik je had.
Maar zeg het aan geen mens, ze zouden je niet geloven. Ze zouden niet geloven dat alleen maar een man alleen maar een vrouw, dat een mens een mens zo lief had als ik jou.

(If I die tomorrow, say then to the trees how much I loved you. Say it to the wind that climbs up into the tree or out of the branches falls, how much I loved you. Say it to the child that is yet young enough to understand. Say it to the animal, perhaps just by looking at it. Say it to the houses of stone, say it to the city how dear you were to me.
But don’t tell a single person, they wouldn’t believe it. They wouldn’t want to believe that just a man just a woman, that a person a person could love as much as I loved you.)

Labels: Beckett, Poetry, Rubik's Cube

My internship so far: Long and pretty boring days. Me wishing for more lab time and less literature time. (RNA isolation tomorrow, hooray!) Hot chocolate. Starting to write my paper with even doing any experiments. Learning a lot of useless facts and enjoying it. Listening to Studio Brussel all day long.

Went to see the taping of Stijn en het Heelal (Stijn and the Cosmos) on Monday. Off course, we happened to sit right in front of the camera. I had a lot of fun. Only so many people can fit Obama, Bruce Springsteen, Phil Collins, the Eiffel Tower and their own songs into an hour long talk about space traveling and I met one of them on Monday.

Siska&Urie get some love today.
Siska: I finished the one shot I talked about. Right Here, Right Now Comments are greatly appreciated.
Urie: I Don't Mind At All Thanks again, Breanna!
Expect more TAI fiction. Soon. Or just whenever I find the time.

Labels: fiction, internship, Stijn Meuris

Jen: Hi, Amy, it's mom. Well, by the time you see this, I won't be here anymore, and I know how much that sucks, for both of us. So seeing as how I won't be around to thoroughly annoy you, I thought I would give you a little list of the things that I wish for you. Well, there's the obvious. An education. Family. Friends. And a life that is full of the unexpected. Be sure to make mistakes. Make a lot of them, because there's no better way to learn and to grow, all right? And, um, I want you to spend a lot of time at the ocean, because the ocean forces you to dream, and I insist that you, my girl, be a dreamer. God. I've never really believed in god. In fact, I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to disprove that god exists. But I hope that you are able to believe in god, because the thing that I've come to realize, sweetheart... is that it just doesn't matter if god exists or not. The important thing is for you to believe in something, because I promise you that that belief will keep you warm at night, and I want you to feel safe always. And then there's love. I want you to love to the tips of your fingers, and when you find that love, wherever you find it, whoever you choose, don't run away from it. But you don't have to chase after it either. You just be patient, and it'll come to you, I promise, and when you least expect it, like you, like spending the best year of my life with the sweetest and the smartest and the most beautiful baby girl in the world. You don't be afraid, sweetheart. And remember, to love is to live.


Dawson: It's interesting how people use that expression-- life and death. As if to imply that life is the opposite of death, but birth is the opposite of death. Life... has no opposite.
Joey: I never thought of it that way.
Dawson: Well, leave it to me to over think it.
Joey: You are the writer.
Dawson: Yeah. This writer has decided it doesn't matter how it ends... because fiction is fiction, and for the first time, in a long time... My life is real. It doesn't matter who ends up with who. Because in some unearthly way... it's always gonna be you and me.
Joey: Soul mates.
Dawson: What we have goes beyond friendship, beyond lovers. It's forever.
Joey: Yes, it is. I love you, Dawson.
Dawson: I love you, too, Joey.
Joey: You and me, always.
Dawson: Always.

There you have it. I finally finished DC. I cried my eyes out. I loved the ending. It surprised me, but I feel more satisfied than I would have if Joey and Dawson ended up together.

Labels: dawson's creek

So, the first week of my internship is over.
I’m pretty spent. Getting up at 7 just isn’t for me. But I guess I’ll survive.
Aside from the longs day, the internship itself is nice so far. I’m looking forward to spending more time in the lab, which should be happening next week.

If you would have talked to me last week, I would have said to you that next to my internship, there’s not much I have to talk about. Boy, was I wrong..
1. My friend’s bag that got stolen.
It didn’t turn out to be stolen after all. Someone put it away because he thought some student forgot it. Off course, her car keys were in it and after I dropped her of home, she had to find spare keys and get all the way back to Maastricht to pick up her car. But, luckily things turned out good after all.
2. Inauguration.
I was driving home when it happened, so I only heard it, but off course it was all over the news later. I’m really excited it’s finally official. I’m curious to see how he will handle things and I really hope people give him the time to change things. Cause damage control will take some time.
3. Accident.
My heart stopped for a second before going in overdrive. I’m telling you, hope you never hit a biker, cause your world stops right then and there. Thank God he was totally okay. My car got scratched and bumped and it’ll be about €250 to get it fixed, but that’s really the least of my worries.
4. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/24/world/europe/24belgium.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=dendermonde&st=cse
I don’t even know what to say about this. This really makes me sick and I can’t help but wonder why? Why would someone do something like this?
5. Dawson’s Creek.
Almost six years after date, I finally get to see the finale. I still have two episodes left and although I know pretty much what will happen, I’m still curious. Isn’t it funny that when I was younger, I always wished I could be like Joey? I don’t anymore, I enjoy the girl I am (becoming). But deep down in my heart, sometimes I wish I still could be that girl the entire show revolved around.

Labels: accident, inauguration, internship

... Starting tomorrow, until the beginning of April.
I think it's going to be pretty fun. This week, it's gonna be mostly making all the stuff I need for my experiments and practicing on isolating lymphocytes from blood and nuclei from those lymphocytes.
Sounds kind of dorky I guess. But what can I say other than that I love it. The petite girl in the white lab coat, that was/is/will be me.

Antwerp.
I found some really, really nice boots, a nice skirt and two tank tops. Thank you for: Sales, JBC, Esprit and America Today =).
Spending some quality time with my mom was nice. We had a really fun time.

Reading & Writing.
I made some progress on my Adam one shot. I hope to have it finished by the end of this week.
And I finally started reading Twilight, about a month after I bought it. I haven't made much progress (Bella just laid eyes on Edward), but I like it so far. It's a nice writing style, easy to read.
As soon as my sister finishes her book report for English class. Yes, being the good big sister I am, I let her borrow my copy of the book instead of her having to read one of the boring list they got in class. Honestly, with English not being your native language, you shouldn't be reading Brontë at 17, no matter how good of a book Whuthering Heights is. (Trust me, I tried.)

Oh, and also: I found this video on YouTube.

Although I never posted anything, I actually check those boards regularly. Just because I'm too lazy to search for videos on my own. And because some of the topics are hilarious.
And you have to admit, they are cute, right? Plus after listening to the song so many times, I still love the message. We do indeed must REINVENT LOVE...

Labels: Adam T. Siska, patdforum, reinvent love, school, shopping

Molecular Diagnostics and Therapy.
The first part was a piece of cake. The second part was a piece of shit.
But hey, no regrets, they only hurt, right?
What's done is done, moving on to the next thing.

[Adam T. Siska] Yet to be named One Shot
Getting inspiration around midnight the night before an exam isn't the most pleasant thing in the world.
In my head, it will be online soon. I hope.

Antwerp. Shopping spree.
I want you, I need you.
I'll be back on Sunday night.
Blogging might happen in between two episodes of House or on Monday..

Labels: Adam T. Siska, Exam, shopping, writing

The past four days in five terms: cancelled classes, obnoxious professors, useless discussions, diet coke and study study study.

Ready or not, here I come:
1. Exam Molecular Diagnostics and Therapy - January 16
2. Antwerp - January 17-18
3. Internship - January 19-April 3
4. Taping Stijn en het Heelal (Stijn and the Cosmos) - January 26
5. Fall Out Boy - March 23


Oh the quiet child awaits the day when she can break free the mold that clings like desperation. Oh mother don't you see? I've got to live my life the way I feel is right for me. Say it's not right for you, but it's right for me. I believe this is heaven for no one else but me. And I'll defend it as long as I can be left here to linger in silence.
If I chose to, would you try to understand?

Jasper Steverlinck - It must be love

Listen to this and tell me he doens't remind you of Jeff Buckley. I dare you.
Strange as I am, it worked the other way around for me. It has been about four years since I saw him perform. I should go to another show soon..

Labels: jasper steverlinck, jeff buckley, music

And shooting stars keep passing by. Only Elvis will never die. And Mia never suffered much. She asks did you give up dreaming? Did you give up dreaming?
I did. Or at least for next week. Until the weekend and things calm down a bit. Antwerp, here I come. You better have some boots in my size, I need them! Really, I do, I would love to have some dry feet every now and then.

Thank you for:
1. Family
2. Birthday parties
3. Jägermeister
4. Rutting moose
5. Bad jokes
Good times yesterday, good times..

Labels: birthday, dreams, music

... Everywhere you go. Or maybe not. Definitely not.

Amelioration of coxsackievirus B3-mediated myocarditis by inhibition of tissue inhibitors of matrix metalloproteinase-1.
IKK-b links inflammation to obesity-induced insulin resistance.
Determination of mitochondrial oxygen consumption.
My head feels like exploding. One more week and I can let everything go. Sort of.

Regulation of gene-expression by genetic polymorphisms in cancer susceptibility genes.
It sounds just as boring, but it isn’t. It won’t be.
Practice makes perfect, right?

Labels: school, weather

First and foremost: happy 2009! I hope you had a great night kicking of the new year and I’ll keep my fingers crossed that 2009 will be an amazing year!

New Year’s Eve was amazing. The best one I had in years. Not to talk shit about previous ones, but I really, really liked this one.
I had friends around me, the food was great (even that way too spicy sauce that I picked for the first dish), the music was fun and made me dance into the night (my feet are still killing me, but I just couldn’t sit down).
Got into bed around 5AM with a big smile and a head filled with silly little moments.
Pictures whenever I get them..

New Year’s Day was no different from other years.
Dragging myself out of bed after a too short night. Quickly grabbing something to eat and try and make myself look a little bit decent/awake. Visiting my grandmother. Exchanging gifts and kisses. Laughing away the comments (I must have heard every variation on ‘Shall we wish you a boyfriend this year’ by now). Exchanging goodbyes, getting into the car and trying not to fall asleep. Visiting my mom’s aunt. Different people, same comments. Eating some sandwiches and some pie. Going home and watch some tv. Finally to bed again.

Following were two dull days. Mostly catching up on sleep.
I finally almost finished the book I was reading. Next up will be Twilight, whenever I can get the book back out of my sister’s sneaky little hands.
I happened to catch Jumanji on tv while channel surfing. Why didn’t anybody ever tell me that Kirsten Dunst played Judy? It had been ages since I last watched that movie, but I really enjoyed it.
And tonight was supposed to be Tim Burton night. I finished watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory about 15 minutes ago. And no matter how much I love Johnny Depp’s acting, I planned on watching the Nightmare Before Christmas. But it’s getting late, so NBC will have to wait until tomorrow.

Sweet dreams.

Labels: 2009, movies, new year's eve